march crept in like a lamb

To Begin. how does one begin? i have always been leary of blogs... because sometimes I think that people write things that should be kept in a diary... what happened to good old fashioned diaries that had the little lock that your little brother would pry open and read out loud at the dinner table? --that is if you ate at "the dinner table" ... perhaps a plate in your lap as you watched tv? --in which case when your brother runs in reading your diary aloud you throw your plate, peas flying-- the dog is excited--chasing your brother around the living room, lots of yelling, until you begin to pummel each other to death... -- is "the dinner table" still an option these days?
And who is my audience? to whom am i speaking? I have a difficult time with this as well, because I put on a different face for different audiences... -- which always leads to the question of "Who Am I?" i don't know and yet I do...

I have been wanting to write a blog for some time now... my best friend Rachel sorta beat me to it-- she just started posting one recently and i tried to comment but for some reason it wouldn't let me... but i had also had a few "leeeemonChellosss" at that time... -- i miss her very much. but someday we'll come together and start a theatre company!!

so I suppose I should begin by telling my imaginary audience a little about myself. ? and now what do I write? do I start with - I was born... i suppose i'll pick something?
I just moved to NYC on Valentine's Day!! a romantic move in! i have been kicking myself ever since i got here b/c i should have done it sooner-- when i had more energy! you're only as old as you want to be... -- but i had to get myself out of debt first. and i'm very glad that I did!!
I am an actor-- although i struggle with self doubt. it's horrible. soo draining. It's hard enough in this career choice just finding a job... dealing with all of the cutthroat people that will intimidate you and put you down... I fight with myself before I even get out the door! -- i suppose that for the moment it is the cross i bear... -- I've gotten a lot better, but I notice that when I'm tired and hungry my negative thoughts return...
but this is my movie and it will have a happy ending. i am determined that it will.

And there is a boyfriend. Ry. and he is very dear to my heart... -- see! diary stuff!! lalalalalala

so i suppose the purpose of this blog is to write about my adventures in NYC .... to create discussions about life and acting... and art and music... and just to write!